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December 20, 2004
Uh Oh...
i think i committed a felony today.
at lunchtime i took a run to the post office, in order send off a late holiday gift to some friends back east. never mind that today is supposed to be the "official" busiest mailing day of the year, and never mind that i could have sent this one off with the other packages i mailed last week. i just got lazy and so this was my penance.
into the main post office i went. there was a long line, but since i was expecting that, it wasn't bothering me. after all, this was my last gift of the season to mail off -- after this i would be done -- so who cared if i had to wait a little.
after about five minutes and very little line moving, a lady who seemed to be doing triage duties in the lobby came up to me and said, you know, if you're paying with a credit card, there's an automated shipping kiosk over there and there's no line. she points across the lobby and i thought to myself, hey, why not. i step out of line #1, cross the lobby to find -- you guessed it -- line #2.
#2 was still shorter then #1 so i figured i'd wait it out. it was then i noticed the woman at the kiosk was mailing six small packages, each that had to be processed individually. and she wasn't just sending them to Jersey, i watched over her shoulder as she typed in the destination of India. she was sending them all to India.
after 15 minutes of this i gave up and headed back to line #1. it was a new line, full of new people, as all the people who had previously been in front and behind me were now long gone. i waited this one out until -- finally -- it was my turn.
i walk up to the counter and place my package on the scale. hello!, i said in a cheery voice -- as i was trying my best to regain the holiday spirit i had entered the lobby with over a half-hour ago.
the clerk started the spiel she probably could utter in her sleep. any explosives, small pets, fire arms or liquids? without thinking i said, only the wine!
she froze, as if i had said i was mailing a pound of plutonium. i'm sorry, she said, you can't send alcohol through the mail. me, still trying to maintain my cheerful mood said, ok, in that case, there isn't any wine in there.
quite a dirty look followed.
she pushed the box back to me and called, NEXT IN LINE!
i had just wasted 35 minutes of my lunch hour, and now i had to walk to the next closest post office on the other side of the financial district.
which i did.
where i found an automated machine where, when asked the question, any liquids? i pushed the NO button, paid for my postage and dropped the box into the bin.
one entire lunch hour spent, but my shipping was done.
it wasn't until a few hours later when i retold this story in a meeting did one of the managers say, oh my, that's a felony!
is it?! really? crap! if so, i guess i better be picking out pinstripes. i just figured it was a post office rule...
Posted by P at December 20, 2004 07:14 PM
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Comments
Look, Pete, in law school I learned that some laws are just too stupid to be bothered with. That's what I'll say at your sentencing hearing. Besides, Bush would pardon you. He loves guys that make big, bold mistakes. And what could be bolder than documenting one's peccadilloes on a blog? :o)
Posted by: Kyle at December 21, 2004 12:31 AM
Ya Criminal.
Posted by: kim at December 21, 2004 10:08 AM
Yeah....deniability is usually the most important thing and writing about it in public is not usually considered all that helpful when trying to beat a felony...which is why I don't discuss any of mine. Perhaps you should have used UPS....they ship wine all the time.
Posted by: Miss Bliss at December 21, 2004 10:14 AM
guess I'll be joining you in the big house. I shipped a case of beer to my brother disguised as a power tool. dang. I look like crap in pinstripes.
Posted by: sawni at December 21, 2004 11:47 AM
That bottle of Glenmorangie I shipped (not "mailed") to Buzz voted strongly against any such legislation. Welcome to the club, Pete.
Posted by: keith721 at December 22, 2004 10:25 AM
I thought it just depended on what state you were shipping it to? And where you were shipping it from? Hmmm...
Posted by: Christine at December 22, 2004 10:19 PM
It does depend on where it's coming from and going to. It's legal to ship wine from California, but some states won't accept it across state lines. So, you can ship it from San Francisco to San Diego, or Sacramento to Columbus, Ohio but you can't ship it to Massachusetts because the Puritan jackasses here won't allow it. (It's actually all about certain states that get bent because your getting liquor that you're not paying state taxes on.)
Posted by: Heather at December 23, 2004 06:12 AM
It is not just the Puritans but also the Perverts. Legislators from our wine producing regions have repeatedly tried to keep wine from other states being shipped into California on the grounds of public health risks associated with potential contaminated agricultural products that can pose a risk to California crops. Okay sure......
As Heather noted - the tax is the deal. Best to just ship it in state......maybe to Sacramento (hee-hee).
Posted by: Erik at December 23, 2004 12:53 PM
you scoundrel!
Posted by: eric.s at December 23, 2004 12:58 PM
Well, I, for one (no wait, two), am glad that you perservered! Just sayin', s'all. *grin*
Posted by: Buzz at December 24, 2004 08:48 AM