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October 14, 2004
A Quandary
we're back! back from Vegas. land of lights and sin and skin and free drinks as long as you keep feeding that slot machine. which means they're not really free but we pretend they are anyway.
we got back yesterday afternoon and we had a good time -- really we did. although some not so good stuff has happened to us before and after the trip. the bad part from before the trip is over and done with, so i'm not too bothered by it. we returned from a wedding reception this past saturday night to find that one of our kitties had a urinary blockage. as we were due to be on an airplane in eight hours and i was feeling the effects of many many adult beverages (seriously -- Gerry, Pablo and yours truly teamed up to drink the bartender out of Captain Morgan’s and nearly out of JD! man that was a fun plane ride sunday morning...) Erin being the sober and responsible kitty mom had to take Joey the kitty to the emergency vet clinic. Joey ended up being admitted and spent the entire duration of our trip to sin city in a small, noisy kitty apartment at the vet hospital. he came home last tonight and appears to have fully recovered, although i'll be recovering from that vet bill for months to come. believe it or not, his bill was more than our airline tickets, room at the Aladdin and what i dropped on video poker! ouch.
but that's not the bad thing that's really bothering me right now. for several years now, Erin and i have had a pet sitter come in when we leave on vacation. two of our cats are hyperthyroid and require pills twice a day, so i feel better hiring someone to do this than in asking friends to do it. this pet sitter we've used for at least three years now has been wonderful. competent, caring, trustworthy. she also has a teenaged daughter who seems like a good kid and really loves our feline kids. i've had no reservations before in leaving them in charge. but when we returned from New York last week i walked by the liquor cabinet at the bar and did a double take. i could have sworn that the bottles had either been moved or that something was missing, but i had nothing to base it on other than a gut feeling. so when E and i left sunday morning we did two things -- i took a digital photo of the cabinet and E put a small piece of tape on the bottom of the glass doors.
when we got in yesterday i was almost afraid to look. but i did.
the tape was no longer attached to both doors -- the cabinet had been opened.
i took another picture and compared the before and after but could not see where anything had been moved. i checked the fridge in the garage but it too seemed unchanged. so finally i went outside and took a look in the garbage can, and there, in a bag along with a some bathroom garbage and used kitty litter was an empty wine cooler bottle. i checked the garage fridge again, sure enough, it was the same brand as the one that was in there.
i'm furious! i feel violated, i feel betrayed. and i'm torn on what i should do. one thing i know is no matter who was responsible, i'll never again feel comfortable with either the pet sitter or her daughter in my house again. the trust is gone -- i just can't do it.
so my question for you this morning is, what would you do in this situation? Erin has said that we need to get our key back, pay her for her services, and that's it. me, i agree with that completely, but i also think we should tell the pet sitter what has happened and why we won't be calling her again. i know it won't make a difference in whether we use her again to look after the kids but i feel like she should know. E says it doesn't matter and nothing is to be gained from the confrontation. what would you do?
and tomorrow i promise to have a Vegas story or two, as well as pictures. i did after all download at least 150 of them from the camera last night... :)
Posted by P at October 14, 2004 06:01 AM
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Comments
I read your blog all the time but don't know if I have ever commented. Well, here goes;
I agree with Erin, for one thing, who knows if it was the mom or the kid. Even if it was the Mom she would probably point at the kid. Granted it probably was the kid, but whatever.
Erin is right, there is nothing to be gained. I think you should get your key back and let it be.
Posted by: Langus at October 14, 2004 06:35 AM
~cool, images from Sin City on tap...~
Posted by: btezra at October 14, 2004 07:02 AM
I'm all for confrontation when it's necessary, but I've seen this one before, and not much good comes out of it. What will you do if the sitter gets defensive and starts yelling at you about accusing her daughter of something. Sometimes it can be a lot more pain than it's worth. I say, if you never have to deal with the person again, there's really not much sense in confronting her.
Unless she comes to you later on and asks you why you are not using her services any longer....than all bets are off.
BTW, the pai gow table is a great place to sit and drink. I usually walk away from it after a couple hours +- 20 bucks and + 5 or 6 drinks.
Posted by: Mike at October 14, 2004 08:53 AM
Pete, this is even more serious than it looks. It's not just about theft, though it is theft. It could be alcoholism, a progessive and ultimately fatal disease. It's incurable, but treatable. But not until the person faces reality ... they gotta hit bottom. Getting fired as your pet-sitter -- and knowing why -- could be a step towards that. So you would be doing this person a favor, conceivably helping to save her life, but making sure reality shows up. Whether she faces it is another matter.
Posted by: Kyle at October 14, 2004 10:10 AM
Uggghhhhh. I really, really hate confrontations. I always try and manipulate the situation so Anne has to deal with it (I might be spineless but I'm honest!).
Anyway....having been through a couple of similar situations I would recommend saying something for two reasons:
1) If it is the sitter......I agree with Kyle. 'Nuff said.
2) If it is the sitter's daughter.....the sitter should know that her child's behavior (which she is responsible for) is causing her to lose business. We can only hope that she will take the news as graciously as possible and then take whatever steps are needed to correct her daughters irresponsible behavior.
You may also feel a little resolution if you mention it.
Glad to hear Joey is improved.
Posted by: Erik at October 14, 2004 01:36 PM
Conflict avoidance is the easier course, and one I follow with regularity. However, you owe the person an explanation if you are severing a long-term relationship.
We had a pet sitter that did a poor job - in fact endangered the cat - but it was the first and last time we used her. In that instance we did not confront her, just never called her again. In your case, it is someone you have used regularly for a number of years, so I'm sure they would want to know why they lost your business.
Just make sure you get your key b4 the confrontation! Oh, and make sure that wasn't one of your coolers in the trash... although I've never seen either of you drink a wine cooler. In fact, I am curious why you even have wine coolers. Were they left over from 1986?
Posted by: Robby Sizzle at October 14, 2004 02:55 PM
You didn't steal any wine coolers when you were in Vegas, did you?
I came across your site by accident. Frankly and very kindly, I don't agree with any of your assessments. Taking photos? Rigging tape on the cabinate? Alcoholism? Theft of a wine cooler probably valued at less than two dollars?
Is your concern that the wine cooler may have been used to give the medicine to the cat? In such a case, yes drugs and alcohol are a dangerous combination, (ha ha.) But if it's the adult human of legal drinking age, lighten up! I bet you if the woman who catsits for you knew how paranoid you were - taking pictures etc... she'd never sit for you again.
Posted by: Random Woman at October 14, 2004 03:36 PM
RW -- the monetary value of the wine cooler is not the point. the underlying issue that something was taken out of my house without my knowledge or permission, by someone who was in a position of trust is what's of concern here. i really don't think i've been overly paranoid considering the circumstances.
Rob -- the coolers were left over from that luau party from summer 2003. they're an odd brand and have been holed up in the garage fridge so long that i missed noticing at first that one was gone.
i'm still not sure what i'm going to do about the situation but i appreciate everyone's input here!
Posted by: P at October 14, 2004 03:57 PM